We live in a really dope time, you guys. Yeah, there’s a lot of crazy stuff going on right now but in the 1800s, people only partnered up if their families needed money and had to sell you for a cow. There were times when women couldn’t even wear mini-skirts without being judged. Now, we have so many options. We’re empowered to date whomever we feel is right for our stage in life…or FOREVER. If you want someone cute and can cuddle with you to weather the colder seasons, you’ve got cuffing season. If you want a partner in crime for the rest as you both shall live, you’ve got a million ways to find them both on and offline.
However, dating is not fun for everyone. Dating can cause a lot of anxiety for both parties. Some don’t communicate what they’re really looking for. Some just want free food. And no one likes being ghosted. NO ONE. Here are some kind reminders on our dating journey:
When I say “be open” I want this to be open for interpretation. For the most part, everyone has some type of image of what or who they want in a potential relationship. STOP THIS. It’s great to know what types of traits you want in someone, but does it really matter if they aren’t over 6 ft. tall, dress the way you’d want them to, or isn’t majoring in Pre-Med or Investment banking? Line up a couple dates with a variety of different people. I guarantee you’ll have a story and learn something about yourself along the way.
I love romantic comedies…13 Going on 30, When Harry Met Sally, 27 Dresses and the list goes on. However, let’s not forget this is a movie and it’s focused on two people falling in love as the main focus. Your life however, isn’t a rom-com. You are a multi-dimensional human being with a unique story, ambitions, and priorities other than being #relationshipgoals. Just because, you went on two disappointing dates with your cousin’s boyfriend’s friend, doesn’t mean it’s the end for you. It’s just another opportunity to say no to romantic opportunities that aren’t meant for you.
Know yourself enough to know what’s good for you versus what you’re comfortable with. It’s hard. We’ve all been in a place where it was easier to justify and compromise what we need in relationships vs. actively looking for someone who meets us vibrationally on an intellectual, emotional, physical and spiritual level. Listen to your gut and the red flags that are being shown to you. Nothing is worse that trapping yourself into something for a long period of time.
According to Huffington Post‘s relationship expert Melanie Schilling,”Most people play a significant role in keeping themselves single.” Self-sabotaging behaviors are stem from of fear of vulnerability, rejection, or past relationships. Allow yourself to heal and build your self-awareness and self-compassion. There are various ways to do this. My favorite one is doing daily positive affirmations. Look in the mirror or write in a journal of positive traits about yourself. Last but not least, date yourself and work towards being the best person you aim to be. You are enough!